What They Think
by Neko-Houkou
Summary: Part 1 Kanaya overhears and "interesting" conversation between Dave and Karkat, and things soon get out of control. Part 2 Dave and Karkat undertake a rather "interesting" do-it-yourself project. AU taking place after entering the post-scratch session. T for Homestuck.
1. What they think

This was supposed to be entirely done and posted by the 15th, but stuff happened and, yeah...

So, happy belated Valentine's day. Hopefully I can post the second part in a day or two

I do not own Homestuck. But it's about damn time I posted a fic for my OTP.

* * *

"Does anyone know where Karkat is?"

Kanaya glanced around the room. Rose and Roxy were sitting side by side on the floor, pouring over what Kanaya assumed was one of Rose's manuscripts. Jade and Jane were sitting at the kitchen island trying to pick out a decent recipe for pumpkin pie, which seemed strange because there was not, nor had there ever been, a pumpkin in the vicinity of their home. (With the addition of the four beta humans everyone was grateful that the kitchen and living rooms were adjacent, since there wouldn't have been enough room for everyone to squeeze into just the kitchen.) Jake and John were arguing over what movie they should watch, their argument getting a bit physical and bumping into the table where Terezi seemed to be drawing a picture using a red crayon. Dirk sat on the opposite end of the room, quietly flipping through a magazine of some sort as he sunk lower into the orange sofa.

When Kanaya voiced her question, the only inhabitants who didn't look at her were John, Jake, and Dirk. Terezi, however, was the only one who answered.

"Sorry, Kanaya, I haven't seen Karkles all day."

"Terezi, we know you haven't seen Karkat today. Or ever," Dirk said, never looking up from his magazine.

Instead of getting upset, Terezi just laughed. "It's great having two coolkids around."

Dirk didn't react, but everyone paying attention could tell he approved of the statement. "I saw him head up to his room earlier," he finally replied to Kanaya, only briefly lifting his head to indicate he was addressing her before lowering it back down to his reading material. When the Englishbert argument rolled to the front of his sofa, he gave Jake a swift kick, separating the two. "We are not watching X-Men; First Class or The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Let Jane pick this time."

Kanaya didn't stick around for the whining session she knew would follow the declaration. Instead, she opted to head up the stairs to the bedroom wing of the building. Normally, she wouldn't dare try to corner Karkat in his room. She had learned the hard way that he didn't take well to that sort of confrontation. However, she felt that this time it was necessary, and that she would just have to deal with whatever viciousness he could conjure up when she brought up the subject of his Kismesis.

Karkat had been unusually irate the past few weeks, especially towards a certain Knight of Time. At first, she had chalked it up to the fact that the alpha and beta family members had been united, but Sollux and Aradia rarely visited, if at all, and Gamzee was still nowhere to be found. After a while, though, it began to remind her more and more of the interactions between him and Dave during the three year trip on the meteor. Yet for all she knew, he hadn't made a move.

And this was the reason Kanaya was seeking him out now; either he needed to make a move or stop flirting altogether. It was beginning to grate on her nerves. Terezi though it was the most amusing thing since John had purchased a blender, and other than the two trolls and Rose no one really seemed to notice what was occurring and therefore didn't care. Even if it wasn't a problem for everyone else Kanaya was getting slightly antsy at not knowing whether or not her skills as an Auspistice would be needed.

She stopped in front of Karkat's door and was about to knock when she heard voices on the other side. She hesitated, waiting to hear what they had to say.

"Are you sure about this, Strider?"

"Dude, it will be the fucking pinnacle of amazingness, trust me."

Kanaya blinked and then leaned in closer. Her hand was still poised to knock, though her curiosity had already sunk its wicked claws into her. What were they talking about and, more importantly, why were they both holed up in Karkat's room?

"This doesn't seem right."

"Relax, this isn't NASCAR. We're just going take it nice and slow. Sort of like a pleasure cruise. Actually, exactly like a pleasure cruise. Just take in all that scenery-"

She pulled away for a moment to try and process what she was hearing. What were they talking about, and why did Kanaya suddenly feel as though it was something rather dirty, despite not knowing what a 'NASCAR' was? After a moment she placed her ear on the door again, hoping for a little more context.

"There's no need to be so rough, Vantas!" Dave snapped, sounding strained.

"Quit being a fucking wriggler, Strider."

"Hey, be careful with your teeth!"

"For the love of Gog, what does it matter if I leave any marks? Nobody is going to notice! Now hold still, you damn nookwhiffer!" His tone was forceful, sounding even more strained than Dave.

Oh my. Oh my indeed.

"Kanaya?" Terezi was walking up the hall behind her. Kanaya, startled, quickly bolted over to her blind friend and slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Dave is in Karkat's room," she whispered.

Terezi smiled underneath Kanaya's hand before removing it from her mouth. "Are you eavesdropping?" she whispered back, her tone clearly teasing. "Are they doing something naughty?"

"Yes, now be absolutely silent," the rainbowdrinker muttered, before slinking back to the door with the blind troll at her side.

"Yes to which?" Terezi hissed, to which Kanaya gave a terse reply of 'both' before covering Pyrope's mouth once more and leaning closer to the door. She couldn't quite hear what they were saying at the moment. Her focus was entirely on trying to make out the conversation, so her grip slackened. Terezi took the opportunity to move close to the door as well just as the volume picked up again.

"Don't knot it so tight. Jegus, Vantas." Dave was panting now, and Kanaya no longer found it possible to keep her mind out of the rain-vegetation shield.

"I don't know how fucking tight I'm supposed to tie it! I've never done this before! It's not as though I've had ample opportunity to experiment, unlike you, I'm sure." Vantas's tone was derisive.

Strider seemed to have had enough if his tone was any indication. "You know what, forget it, let's try something else for now. We can always try this again later."

Terezi's sightless eyes widened as the grin fell off of her face. Terezi hadn't spent as much time as Kanaya had researching the topic, but from what she had heard directly from Maryam and had overheard in Kan's conversations with Rose, trolls and human shared a habit or two when it came to reproduction. "You weren't kidding," she barely whispered, which only earned her a finger on her lips.

The Harleycrock and Lalonde siblings, however, got a much more animated reaction when Jane called out to the two troll girls. "Oh, there you are, what did you two want for umph-"

Terezi and Kanaya both clapped a hand over her mouth, earning startled looks from the other three girls.

Roxy was the first to recover enough to practically shout in her currently inebriated state, "Wast going-" Terezi's free hand shut the girl's mouth, though she seemed not to notice if the continuing vibrations underneath the blind troll's hand were any indication.

The two girls whose personal space hadn't been invaded just looked at the trolls, both of them raising a questioning eyebrow. "Dave and Karkat are in Karkat's room," Kanaya explained in a whisper, letting go of Jane. Terezi followed suit, though she kept her fingers over Roxy's lips, and actually moved behind her to get a better hold when the elder Lalonde started to tip backwards.

Jade frowned. "Were you two eavesdropping? That isn't very nice," she admonished, though she kept her voice low.

"I'm sure they are well aware of that, Jade, but you have to admit, it is rather tempting to know what sort of mischief they're getting up to." Rose quirked her eyebrows in a highly suggestive manner.

Terezi smiled behind the tipsy Lalonde's head, and let out a soft cackle. "You have no idea!"

Jade bit her lip, exchanged a glance with Rose, and then followed her friend when she dashed for the door. The both took a spot on the floor, leaning up against the door. Kanaya took up her original position, now hovering above Jade. Terezi tried to get back into her spot, but that proved to be impossible between respecting Rose's personal space and trying to hold up her clearly-not-sober sister, so she settled for moving to stand behind the younger girl and lean backwards slightly. Roxy just slumped against the chest of her captor-troll and continued to babble despite the hand over her mouth. Jane hung back for a moment, biting her lower lip and glancing around guiltily. It only took a wave from Rose to convince the older girl to quit fighting her morals and join in the fun. She managed to squeeze in behind Kanaya just as the conversation started up again.

"Oh for fuck's sake, take off that damn outfit."

"And here I thought you had a little red-fetish.

"What the fuck is a fetish?"

The three sober human girls giggled a bit, but quickly shushed themselves. Kanaya glared at the two beneath her, then looked up when she noticed motion at the edge of her vision. It seemed that Roxy had started leaning back even further, throwing the Terezi off balance and tipping her toward Kanaya. Kanaya quickly leaned forward and grabbed Terezi's shoulders, using her own weight to balance the other two girls. Roxy giggled a little, but a quick shooshing from Pyrope silenced her. The position was awkward, but neither troll wanted to move just yet on the off chance they would miss something important, like what exactly a fetish was.

"-turned on."

"Oh."

The trolls understood what _that_ meant, and both had the decency to turn blue and green.

"Well, fine, but you still need to remove the hoodie. Piece of shit is getting in the way," Karkat's voice was gravelly and low, and now all six girls were blushing.

They all pressed closer, anticipating what would come next, when a noise coming from behind Jane nearly made Kanaya drop Terezi and Roxy on Jade and Rose. "What's all the hulabaloo?"

Kanya gave Terezi a shove, managing to give the troll enough leverage to stand up straight again. Jane had turned around and placed her hand over her long-time crush's mouth. As Kanaya moved to silence Egbert before he could make a peep, she noted that Crocker was bright red, though whether that was from the contact with Jake or the overheard conversation, she couldn't be sure.

Once the girls were certain that the boys would keep quiet, they let go.

"Are we spying on Karkat?" John asked, looking as clueless and aderpable as ever.

Jade looked over her shoulder and nodded, while Rose added, "And Dave as well."

"Ah, a little old fashion spying, eh? Sounds like a jolly good time!" English exclaimed slightly louder than necessary, which earned him a shoosh from a now very intense-looking Terezi. She had taken up her previous position leaning backwards with Roxy clutched to her chest, one arm still over the girl's mouth. Jake got the message and, ignoring the awkwardness of the move, leaned over Jane when she took up her spot behind Kanaya. The baker stifled a whimper and moved slightly closer to Kanaya, who didn't care about having her personal space invaded so long as the human didn't start breathing too heavily for her to hear. Egbert managed to squish between his ecto-sister and his best friend who was a girl.

"What's the problem now, Vantas?"

"My belt's stuck!" Exasperation colored his tone. If asked to pick a color, Terezi would have said it smelled burgundy.

"Fuck!" Dave sounded beyond frustrated.

The Englishbert boys' eyes widened, but other than that nothing much happened in the hallway. On the other side of the door, however, it seemed as though a lot of things were happening. There was a sound of struggling, then something heavy and fleshy hitting the floor with a muffled thump, followed by some general cursing.

"Oh Jegus what is going on in there?" English had already picked up on the slang despite only being a part of the group for a few weeks.

"I don't want to know!" John squeaked. He would have been totally cool with Dave or Karkat telling him that they were Kismesis now, but he was not okay listening to the two of them do weird things! He was still too innocent!

Another squeak escaped when he heard "F-fuck, Strider!" and he would have bolted for the stairs if Jade and Rose hadn't betrayed him by grabbing his shirt and placing their hands over his mouth. They would have let him go had they felt he could make it down the stairs without falling and causing a commotion. As it stood, he seemed too flustered to calmly walk away without falling or shouting, so the two girls kept him still between them.

"Calm down!" Rose hissed while his ecto-sister tried to pap and shoosh him unsuccessfully.

After another few moments of trying to calm Egbert down, the girls gave up and went back to listening to the vastly more interesting conversation on the other side of Karkat's door.

"How about you take this?"

There was a sound of tearing, followed by a short pause before Dave spoke again.

"I can't believe how much you like that kind," he scoffed.

There was a snort on Karkat's part preceding his response. "I like this flavor. And the way it feels in my mouth."

Egbert made another grab at freedom, but was halted by two surprisingly strong teenage girls grabbing him. When they released his mouth in order to do so, they had a blessed moment of silence from him before he realized he was now capable of verbally protesting. Kanaya took advantage of the moment to grab Jade's long, black hood, lean down, and tie it around John's head, effectively gagging him. And she managed to do this without making any noises. If Jade was upset about having her hoodie commandeered for the task, she would wait until they were in a less precarious situation to voice her protests.

They weren't out of the woods yet, as Terezi hissed when Roxy started to struggle, but the troll refused to slacken her grip. She hissed again when she almost lost her balance a second time, but managed to maintain it by taking a half step backwards. This, unfortunately, meant stepping on Rose's cape. This really wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't removed all the slack from the fabric and yanked Rose backward, bumping her head into Terezi's legs. This only resulted in the troll starting to fall backwards again.

This time it was Jane who caught the blind girl, since Kan was preoccupied with Egbert. Another stroke of bad luck, however, meant that Jane started to fall as well. Another ridiculously miraculous and quiet stroke of good luck meant that Jake was still aware enough of what was going on to grab Crocker and prevent her from falling on Kanaya and the three alpha teens.

"Okay, enough pussyfooting around, just shove it in!"

Any and all movement ceased, including breathing, while they waited to see how Karkat would respond.

"What do you think I've been trying to do!" the Cancer snarled.

"Oh, Fuck!"

There was a sound of grunting on the opposite side of the door, and a soft group gasp on the other.

"I can't-"

"I know it's tight. Suck it up, Vantas."

More grunting could be heard, and everyone's faces turned their respective blood colors. It wasn't something anyone would admit out loud even under threat of death, but they would have expected Karkat to be on bottom, not the other way around.

"Just a little more!"

"So close!"

"Ugh, damn it, Dave!"

Everyone's jaws dropped open. Even more unbelievable than the thought that those two were on the other side of this door screwing each other, but that Karkat was so caught up in it that he had used Dave's first name?

It seemed Karkat wasn't the only one too caught up in the moment to notice what was happening. Dirk had managed to sneak up on the entire group while they all waited outside of the mutant's door, expressions rapt as well as highly embarrassed. Not that they would have noticed him if they hadn't been so engrossed in the perversions taking place just out of sight. He was as stealthy as a ninja, after all. It didn't take too long for him to get the gist of what was going on, even though he wasn't eavesdropping like the rest of them. It took him even less time to decide what he was going to do about it.

_Too easy_, he thought as he casually sidled up to the group, taking in their flustered appearances and awkward positioning before making his move.

"BOO!"

"AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHH HHHH!"

Everyone shouted, yelped, or made some sort of undignified scared noise as they all toppled onto each other and, surprisingly enough, through the unlocked respiteblock door.

There was a moment of scrambling and confusion before the group fell still and silent, looking at the teen boys. Who were sitting on opposite ends of what appeared to be a net mounted on a simple metal structure. Fully clothed. There was some sort of candy wrapper sitting on the floor near Karkat, and a brightly colored piece of fabric balled up in the corner. Neither was flushed nor out of breath. Just surprised and confused.

"What are you doing?" Dave asked, quirking his eyebrow as he took in the friendpile and his brother chilling on the doorframe.

There was nervous laughter. Kanaya was finally the one to speak up. "I… um, I was on my way to speak to Karkat, and well, I overheard some of your conversation. And then Terezi showed up, followed by Jade and Rose and… well."

"You were listening!" Karkat went from confused to livid in .6 seconds. "Are you telling me that I can't even fucking redecorate my respiteblock without having every nookwhiffer and their fucking lusus poking their nose into my shit!"

Terezi blinked, her sightless eyes not moving underneath her slightly skewed glasses. "You were… redecorating?"

Jake let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, it seems we've all been a bit hasty, jumping to conclusions and whatnot." He tried to extract himself from the pile, as did everyone else.

"What did you think we were doing?" Dave asked, cool as a cucumber. In all actuality he was trying not to laugh as everyone blushed brightly.

"What? Oh, OH, you sick fucks!" Karkat shouted as he put two and two together as Dave had done while Kanaya had been rambling. "You thought we were procreating so you waited outside of my door and _listened!_ How fucking cracked does your thinkpan have to be for you to come up with such a twisted fuck of entertainment?"

Everyone was now standing and looking at their feet. Except for John. He still seemed sort of dazed.

There were muttered apologies and the shuffling of feet before Karkat continued. "You all owe me fucking big time," he paused when his stomach gurgled. "But that can wait until we get some dinner. Let's eat." He stood. Dave waited for everyone to start filing out before he stood as well.

"I can't believe they were thinking that," the Cancer muttered.

Dave smirked.


	2. What we know

As much as I love seeing Karkat and Dave get along, I was hoping for more sloppy human/troll makeouts.

Anywho, enjoy the second and final part. Please review!

I don't own Homestuck. It had been a while since I got any OTP feels, so I appreciate the recent updates.

* * *

Karkat looked at the box skeptically. "What the fuck is this, Strider?"

Dave barely spared him a glance as he finally fished a pair of scissors out of the troll's desk drawer. Normally, the Cancer would have snapped at Dave for snooping through his stuff, but the human had promised him a surprise, so he was going to overlook the invasion of privacy if it would improve his chances of being enlightened as to what was in the cardboard box.

The younger Strider opened the scissors and slid the sharp point along the taped edge. "It's something to spruce up your bedroom-respiteblock. It's like the most boring office in Bilious Slick threw up in here," he muttered, finally getting the top of the box open.

It was true. Karkat hadn't felt like decorating, not when he knew they could be uprooted at any time. The only wall decorations he had were the few posters given to him by Terezi. Of course, her pieces of art were more often than not upside down or sideways and scattered, as the Libra had insisted on hanging them herself and she used this super glue stuff that made it impossible for Karkat to right them. The only pieces of furniture were a bed, which Karkat absolutely loathed and he would often complain that beds were not where trolls slept, a desk, a trunk where he kept his clothes, and a laptop. And everything was in either shades of brown or gray. As much as he hated to admit it, Dave was right.

Although, he wasn't quite sure he wanted to leave Strider in charge of redecorating, especially when the human flipped the large box upside down and a slew of metal objects hit the floor, followed by a net looking thing and a brightly colored blanket.

"What the fuck is that?" He asked, gesturing at the parts and flinching away from the red, orange, and yellow-striped fabric as though it had tried to bite him.

Dave gave him a blank look. "It's a hammock. Since you always complain about your bed, and you needed some color in here anyway, I thought this might be worth a try. Maybe if you actually slept at night you wouldn't act like you had a jellyfish shoved up your wastehole."

Karkat glared, choosing to ignore the insult since Strider had so graciously decided to use the proper Alternian term for ass. "So I can use this for sleeping?" He asked, sitting down and giving a metal pipe an experimental nudge.

"Yes." Karkat blinked, because there was no way Dave had been smirking just then. Well, maybe he had, in an 'I'm hiding something, but you won't be able to figure it out,' sort of way. The Cancer always hated it when Strider trolled him. Especially when he knew there was ulterior motivation. "All we have to do is assemble it."

The troll looked around at all of the pieces scattered on the floor. "Are you sure about this, Strider?"

"Dude, it will be the fucking pinnacle of amazingness, trust me."

He grabbed a sheet of paper off of the floor that Karkat hadn't noticed before and flipped it over to reveal a set of directions, which he looked at briefly before crumping it up and tossing it into the trash can next to the desk. "Okay, the piece you're holding slides into this one here." He grabbed a shorter pipe off of the ground and tossed it at Vantas, who scrambled to keep if from hitting the floor. He tried to put them together, with no success.

"This doesn't seem right."

"Relax, this isn't NASCAR. We're just going take it nice and slow. Sort of like a pleasure cruise. Actually, exactly like a pleasure cruise. Just take in all that scenery-"

Karkat grumbled. "Would you just shut your gaping face hole," he snapped, though he did stop trying to jam the pieces together as Dave started working on his own section. The continually angry troll carefully turned the pieces over and found, to his embarrassment, that the bars would fit together easily if he just flipped them around. There was a satisfying click as the tubes locked together.

Dave barely looked up when he heard the noise of satisfaction Karkat let out at his accomplishment. "Great. Now, come over here and help me pull this apart." 'This' appeared to be a small metal tube that had most likely gotten stuck in a slightly larger one due to poor packaging.

Vantas complied, beginning a sort of tug-of-war match with his fellow Knight. The patience earned from putting the tubes together quickly dissipated, and Karkat started to flail a bit.

"There's no need to be so rough, Vantas!" Dave snapped, sounding strained.

Karkat stopped struggling long enough to snap back, "Quit being a fucking wriggler, Strider." The moment he finished talking, he started to gnaw on the smaller hunk of metal, trying to get a good grip so he could pull it out.

"Hey, be careful with your teeth!"

"For the love of Gog, what does it matter if I leave any marks? Nobody is going to notice! Now hold still, you damn nookwhiffer!" His tone was forceful, sounding even more strained than Dave.

The young man frowned. "I'm a little more worried about your teeth," he muttered, which was enough to make Vantas stop gnawing again.

"My teeth are stronger than this hammock-thing!" So saying, he bit down one final time and pulled the jammed piece free from Dave's end.

"Not bad, Vantas, now if only your morning breath wasn't as strong as your teeth."

That earned him a scowl and the teeniest, tiniest blush ever, and Dave smirked at his accomplishment. Vantas was still insecure about his blood, and honestly when they had first met Dave had thought the troll had trained himself not to blush in order to hide the color. The coolkid always considered it a small victory when he could frustrate the troll to the point that his face would be tinged with pink.

"Shut the fuck up, Strider! I don't recall your morning breath smelling like sunshine and daisies." Whatever the fuck a daisy was.

Dave's lip twitched, but so slightly that the troll didn't notice. "Why don't you close that little anger-book of yours and put it on the shelf while you get the blanket tied to the net?" Vantas's scowled deepened, but he moved to attach the blanket via some ties that he hadn't noticed before. Dave continued to work on the metal frame, trying to shove two pieces together. The Cancer couldn't help but snicker, refusing to suggest he just try to flip the tube around for an easier and probably proper fit. He just continued to tie the blanket strings to the net, frustrated when he realized he had lined them up wrong, forcing him to undo his work and start over again.

"Don't knot it so tight. Jegus, Vantas." Dave was panting now, still attempting to shove the parts together using his own body weight.

"I don't know how fucking tight I'm supposed to tie it! I've never done this before! It's not as though I've had ample opportunity to experiment, unlike you, I'm sure." Vantas's tone was derisive. If Dave was knew so much about these hammock things, why couldn't he have just assembled it himself?

Strider seemed to have had enough if his tone was any indication. "You know what, forget it, let's try something else for now. We can always try this again later."

He dropped his own part and grabbed the net and disgustingly-colored blanket away from Vantas, balling it up and tossing it in the corner. "Let's just screw these hooks in," he sighed, sounding exasperated. He tossed yet another metal bar at Vantas, followed by the hook, before picking up his own set.

It really wasn't all that challenging, though it did take up a fair amount of time. The only problem was that the sleeve of Dave's hoodie kept getting caught on the hook every time he twisted it around.

Karkat noticed this, and eventually he snapped, "Oh for fuck's sake, take off that damn outfit."

"And here I thought you had a little red-fetish." Dave waggled his eyebrows specifically because he knew it freaked Vantas out and made him even more flustered than usual.

Karkat squished up his face in what could be called adorable, except Dave never used that word and also this was Vantas. "Damn eyebrows," he mumbled, followed by a much louder "What the fuck is a fetish?"

Dave smirked, easily picking up on the opportunity. "A fetish is sort of like rabies."

"Strider quit fucking using words you know I don't understand. I swear to Gog I would be absolutely overjoyed if fucking Bec Noir finally caught up to us and I could use you as a meat shield. And then I could take that hideous outfit of yours and clean up your disgusting red blood before I burned it! Or better yet, I could just pull out my sickles right now and cut your wiggling speak-muscle out right now and mount it on my wall!"

"Dude, rabies is a disease you get when you stare at the bathtub for too long."

Karkat glared. "I know you're lying to me, Strider. Tell me the truth." He was practically hissing now, and Dave knew that he was pushing his boundaries. His surprise gift to Vantas was going to be a lot less fun if the troll was already furious with him before they finished assembling it.

Plus, he knew he could get Vantas to freak out yet again.

"A fetish is something that makes your bone bulge. You know, makes you turned on."

"Oh." His eyes widened, and for half a second Dave thought he was going to faint, but instead of giving Dave the satisfaction of breaking his thinkpan, he went back to extreme anger "Well, fine, but you still need to remove the hoodie. Piece of shit is getting in the way," Karkat's voice was gravelly and low, and Dave was more than slightly surprised until he added, "And I fucking hate red!"

Dave let the subject drop, and instead of removing the hoodie he rolled up the sleeves and, further humoring the troll, pulled up his cape and tucked it into the hood of his god tier outfit. Then he started focusing on sliding the hooked- pole into its subsequent support beam. Karkat looked displeased at having his direct orders ignored, but what else was new? He mimicked Dave's motions, but then hit his own snag.

The structure still couldn't stand by itself, and the moment Karkat let it go in order to do something else it tipped toward him and snagged on his belt. He tried to extricate himself without Strider noticing, which failed miserably.

"What's the problem now, Vantas?"

"My belt's stuck!" Exasperation colored his tone as he admitted to his mistake.

There wasn't a witty comeback, surprisingly enough. Strider just grabbed the pole and tried to help him get free, also failing miserably. "Fuck!" Dave sounded beyond frustrated.

Karkat tried to just yank away when Dave's hands left the hammock frame and moved toward the troll's belt. All this accomplished was tripping the both of them. The metal pole smacked painfully into the Cancer's knee, so he instinctively swung the offending piece of crap away and managed to hit Dave in the side. It winded him, but didn't break any ribs. Karkat would have pointed this out in his defense, but Dave had already responded by punching Vantas in the stomach. Both of them were cussing up a storm despite being out of breath, and when they finally managed to sit up the troll lunged at the human, pissed beyond all belief. Strider nearly took another swing at him, but instead held him at arm's length, waiting for the string of cusses to die down before letting go. He didn't want to let the fighting get out of hand. It had taken a little while, but he was quickly learning the troll's boundaries and limits, and was usually successful at pissing him off without taking things too far. Vantas crossed his arms, pouting and glaring at Dave. And even though it wasn't his fault, the Knight of Time reached into his pocket and pulled out a peace offering.

"How about you take this?" he said, proffering a package of cotton candy poprocks.

Karkat's eyes lit up. Candy was a rare treat, and ever since John had introduced the trolls to the stuff, Vantas had gotten hooked on poprocks. Even Terezi didn't like gobstoppers as much as Karkat liked poprocks. Of course, that made sense, since she preferred color to sugar content anyway.

There was a sound of tearing, and Dave was actually surprised to find that the package was no longer in his hands. "I can't believe how much you like that kind," he scoffed. Personally, he preferred cherry, despite his own dislike of the color red. If only they made poprocks that tasted like apple juice!

There was a snort on Karkat's part preceding his response. "I like this flavor. And the way it feels in my mouth." He stuck out his tongue and poured the entire package on it, not smiling because he didn't do that shit, but he looked pleased as the sugar treat started to fizzle and snap. He just tossed the package onto the ground, fully intending to pick it up with the rest of the packaging from the new hammock.

Eventually, he pulled his tongue back into his mouth when Strider kept staring at him through the sunglasses. He swallowed nervously, feeling the tickle as the candy slid down his throat. He almost asked the human what his problem was, but at that moment he seemed to snap out of his reverie and said, "Let's get back to work. We just need to put these two halves together, hang the net, and tie on the blanket."

Karkat nodded, moving to one half of the frame while Strider grabbed the other. They lined the pieces up and tried to shove them together. At first, they tried to ease the pieces together, but both of them had had enough of the stupid hammock, so when the parts didn't fit right away, Dave very very very very very very very very marginally lost his cool. Slightly.

"Okay, enough pussyfooting around, just shove it in!"

"What do you think I've been trying to do!" the Cancer snarled.

"Oh, Fuck!"

They were grunting with the effort, and neither of them could remember a time when fighting for their lives had caused them so much trouble.

"I can't-" Karkat whined.

Dave shoved harder. "I know it's tight. Suck it up, Vantas."

The troll's next verbal spout was more of a question than an exclamation. "Just a little more!"

"So close!"

"Ugh, damn it, Dave!"

One final shove, and the halves clicked together. Both boys took a moment to catch their breath before going over to the net and stringing it across the hooks.

"If this isn't a million times better than my bed I am never going to talk to you again."

"Don't do me any favors," Strider teased, earning more blustering from Karkat. They both decided that the blanket could wait and sat down to admire their handiwork.

That was, they admired it until a whole crapload of people fell into the room.

"AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHH HHHH!"

Everyone shouted, yelped, or made some sort of scared noise as they all toppled onto each other and through the unlocked respiteblock door.

There was a moment of scrambling and confusion before the group fell still and silent, looking at the teen boys. Neither would admit it, but they had both jumped slightly at the sudden intrusion.

"What are you doing?" Dave asked, quirking his eyebrow as he took in the friendpile and his brother chilling on the doorframe.

There was nervous laughter. Kanaya was finally the one to speak up. "I… um, I was on my way to speak to Karkat, and well, I overheard some of your conversation. And then Terezi showed up, followed by Jade and Rose and… well."

"You were listening!" Karkat went from confused to livid in .6 seconds. "Are you telling me that I can't even fucking redecorate my respiteblock without having every nookwhiffer and their fucking lusus poking their nose into my shit!"

Terezi blinked, her sightless eyes not moving underneath her slightly skewed glasses. "You were… redecorating?"

Jake let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, it seems we've all been a bit hasty, jumping to conclusions and whatnot." He tried to extract himself from the pile, as did everyone else.

"What did you think we were doing?" Dave asked, cool as a cucumber. In all actuality he was trying not to laugh as everyone blushed brightly. If only they knew…

"What? Oh, OH, you sick fucks!" Karkat shouted as he put two and two together as Dave had done while Kanaya had been rambling. "You thought we were procreating so you waited outside of my door and _listened!_ How fucking cracked does your thinkpan have to be for you to come up with such a twisted fuck of entertainment?"

Everyone was now standing and looking at their feet. Except for John. He still seemed sort of dazed. Dave almost felt bad for traumatizing his friend. Almost.

There were muttered apologies and the shuffling of feet before Karkat continued. "You all owe me fucking big time," he paused when his stomach gurgled. Poprocks were not nearly enough to satiate a hungry troll. "But that can wait until we get some dinner. Let's eat." He stood. Dave waited for everyone to start filing out before he stood as well.

"I can't believe they were thinking that," the Cancer muttered.

Dave smirked. "But we know better."

Now that everyone was out of the room, Dave decided to risk it. Just before Karkat wandered out, he grabbed the troll and swung him around for an incredibly dirty and quick kiss. It was a few moments before Karkat broke the kiss and eyed the hammock suspiciously. "I knew you were up to something," he mumbled, turning back to glare at his Kismesis.

Dave actually smiled at that. "Hammock sex will be fun. I've wanted to try it for a long time. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to find a hammock."

Karkat cocked an eyebrow. "Who's the one with a fetish?" he accused, trying to pull away, but Dave just hugged him tighter. "And why didn't you set it up in your room?"

"Because, Vantas, we always sleep in my room. Apparently, I need an excuse to spend time in yours."

The troll squirmed, looking sheepish as he broke eye contact. "You could have just asked. I assumed you liked your room better," he mumbled, and Dave couldn't help but smile even wider.

"I love you too." He said it just because he knew it would piss his Kismesis off.

That didn't mean he didn't mean it, though.

Karkat looked vaguely disgusted as he extracted himself from the coolkid's grip. "Whatever. I'm hungry." He practically ran out of the room, Dave following at a much more leisurely pace.


End file.
